Titles in dating, because we all need a little clarity
Titles in dating, because we all need a little clarity
5 min read
Hi ladies and gents,
So, I'm a member of a few female centric groups and one of the MAIN things I see on a constant basis are questions surrounding relationship status and titles. I'm sure you know what I mean 'we're dating but not exclusive but he doesn't want anyone else, but my mate saw him on tinder but I can't ask why he's there because we aren't together' and you sit there googling 'how do I know he likes me' and 'he cuddles me after sex but wont make me his girlfriend' but are still NONE the wiser.
I would really like to clear this up, although I stand by what I always say.. if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer. I personally blame programs such as friends with Ross and Rachel's turbulent on again off again and sex and the city with Carrie and Big, but news flash - LIFE ISN'T A PROGRAM.
So let me use my experience (and a few friends experience) to make this easier:-
Shagging - as and when you bump into each other. Otherwise known as a casual hook up. Lets just say this is one you don't speak to, you don't booty call or drunk dial. For some reason, you just end up at the same parties/clubs/pubs (usually anywhere with alcohol and a social setting) and know you're both down to clown so end up riding that joy stick until you got yours. Then go on your merry way and live your separate lives again good as new 😊.
Dating- going out with each other, trying to impress one another and getting to know each other regardless of having sex or not. Do not confuse this with the friend zone. If I date someone, I'd categorize it as potential for future romance and relationship. My boyfriend didn't make any sex move toward me on our first date but we had some good pub necking 😂, I regret nothing. Both went to our homes separately, well I went to my best mates, and he checked I was OK and enjoyed the night and told me how much he did. An actual gent, although I have no doubt he absolutely power wanked that night.
Seeing someone - dating AND shagging usually, more often than not the stage just before in a relationship (personally I wouldn't be seeing someone for longer than 6 weeks without making it official). Seeing is the most confusing stage I'd say. You usually have set no boundaries, no rules and no exclusivity. You want it to be known or assumed but not said, that you are both off the market to anyone else, however either could be forgiven for having their head turned or pursuing another, but NOT for lying about it... also this is too far in for ghosting in my opinion.
Going slow - an excuse if at the beginning to not put a stamp on it usually, or what a couple do after already trying and failing in my opinion. We'll go slow, next thing you know you're getting an "I'm sorry this wont work" text before you've even got to wash your flower after being ragged round his bedroom like a red flag in a bulls mouth! Be careful with going slow, there's only one thing slower than that, and that my dearest little sugar pie, is stopping entirely.
FWB (Friend With Benefits)- someone you get on with, fancy enough to throw a few courtesy fucks when you're both single so you don't need to chase anyone for sex, but don't want a relationship with and can call for shagging whenever cos you are both half good at it together. DO NOT GET ATTACHED! This one causes so much hurt and confusion 🙈. Please only enter into this if you are 100% certain that BOTH parties aren't looking for a relationship, or likely to get emotionally invested. I have seen so many girls ask about if fuck buddies can be more than friends, say they have secret feelings, or what's worse have TOLD the FWB they have said feelings only to be shrugged off or hurt when they aren't reciprocated. And it isn't just women who get attached. I had one and he had numerous before me, he was my first FWB, I agreed NO feelings. We became good friends but that was it for me, however HE decided to go get lovey type feels and I was backed into a corner (quite literally) when we were drunk in mine one night and he started telling me he could see a future together. How the fuck does a drunk girl, wanting all the sex say no to a date with the guy she IS sexually attracted to and gets on boss with? She doesn't. She's a pissed people pleaser (sober I could slap your mum and tell you it was your fault) but seriously, it ended terribly he was unlovable, I was a cunt, we both said things 😂 I'm all for being civil, but call me fat or a c bomb and my acid tongue is coming out in force bitch! So I ended up losing my lad best friend in one foul swoop. Unfair. Just a lesson for you in case you're wondering what's the worst that could happen. To me losing a mate is the WORST thing that could ever happen.
Booty Call - not a mate, just someone who can get the job done at any hour usually when pissed and then you can fuck them off. Again NO feelings please. Just bang and boot. "Bish bosh bang, get the taxi rang, grab your clothes you worked the text, now leave him be til you're horny next 😘".
I'll throw in a bonus babe - situationship - where you might as well be together but it's gone past that phase! You aren't in a relationship! You are emotionally involved. You probably date. You snap chat all day and night. You have sex, both scheduled and un-scheduled. However, you never feel you have the right to ask questions, or you don't due to him giving you the whole 'I can't do this, lets leave it' because you feel in the wrong for demanding some respect.
Ladies and gents, as soon as you feel the lines are wavy to you and you don't know where you stand or how important you are, please leave! If you have to ask 'does he/she like or love me?' Or 'he/she dates me but I see them on snapchat out with such and such, but they probably like me more right?' You've got your answer. If someone is into you YOU WILL KNOW! Especially when it comes to men, in my experience anyway, it isn't always exclusive as we have to take numerous factors into account, but over all, yep, this is true! Men are natural hunters, if they want you you'll know. If not you'll ask.
I hope this has helped. I wish someone had all this laid out for me when I was dating because that shit is bruuuuuu talllll! If you've got any questions, I'll answer based on personal experience. I have a lot when it comes to dating and situations so ask away. Feel free to comment or send a message I'm always on hand to help if I can you crazy little fudge muffins 😘.