DON'T tell me to smile!

3 min read
24 May

Hello again 😏. I'm going to hit on a subject that seriously pisses me off today, sexism. I've not experienced much of it since lockdown, probably because when I go out at the moment my boyfriend is with me and my son is in the pram I'm pushing. Which also irritates me, not my boys of course, but the fact that I NEED a man with me so that other men back the fuck off. My fella thinks it's a good thing when I explain it, he doesn't understand that I'm no damsel in distress and having a man next to me shouldn't change a fucking thing, let me explain. I don't WANT the attention, I'm quite happily settled, I've had my single years and I didn't appreciate the following then either. When you're walking down a street and a man, pick a man, any random man tells you, to smile! See I don't walk around with a constant grin plastered across my face because A) wrinkles B) uncomfortable C) you look like you need to be investigated and D) men think you're approachable. I don't want to be approachable to any random arse person. At one point I had had enough of the wolf whistles, the men who think they are tough in front of their friends so shout things to you (extremely childish), and the men telling ME what to do with MY face and expecting me to require some form of solid reason why I don't want to speak to them ie, I have a boyfriend. I was single for most of 6 years and I had to say I had a boyfriend about 80 times within those years, and lying goes against the grain with me, it always has. So I made a decision, I wasn't going to do it anymore, if I don't want someone because I don't find them attractive I'M SAYING IT, if I don't want to get to know someone because I don't like their attitude or the way they approached me, I'M SAYING IT, and if I just don't want to give them my time for no reason at all I'M SAYING IT. I've been called snotty, rude, bitch, slag, honestly you name it I've probably been called it, just for being honest about being uninterested. It doesn't phase me. If you aren't important to me, why am I going to give a shit about the fact you just called me a slag because I chose not to give you my number for no reason but the fact that I went out to shop for a pair of jarmies for my nan and not to be approached by you. Honestly I once had a lad in a shop in the strand come up to me whilst I'm looking at the old lady clothes (he may have even thought I was looking for myself who knows🤷‍♀️). He came out of fucking nowhere. And asked for my number, I wont lie, I wasn't attracted to the guy in any way, shape or form, so I said no. He seemed harmless so he said have you got a boyfriend? I said no. He was all 'well can I get your number then?' I felt sorry for the lad so said I had a boyfriend. Then he proceeded to tell me I was lying and I didn't have a boyfriend. I was like OK so according to you I do have a boyfriend and I don't have a boyfriend, do us both a favour, choose your favourite and run with it so I can get back to staring at how big these knickers are please (honestly why so big 😂 thing was like an actual parachute). That situation annoyed me but I was so angry with myself for lying. A simple 'I'm single but not interested' would have been, or SHOULD have been sufficient. But I've been questioned to within an inch of my life by men before today about why they can't have my number because they don't like rejection. But here's the inside scoop fellas, don't ask a woman out or show ANY kind of interest if you can not handle rejection. Because there is always a chance. But for you to insult a woman because they don't accept YOU inviting yourself into THEIR life, that is a really, shockingly bad character trait and one most women wont entertain if they find out you are one of these types. But anyway back to the title, how many times have you heard 'smile girl', smile girl! Makes me furious. So I was getting this on quite a regular basis and one day I just snapped. I was walking through town in my black maxi dress, yep I did look good I'd put effort in 🤷‍♀️. I was going to meet my mate for one of our regular mid day summer piss up's (ah I miss those fuck you Rona!!!). I walked through matthew street, there was a woman about to cross paths with me and 2 men in front and out of all of them this 60 odd year old man clocks me and shouts, in front of everyone 'smile girl, you'll look better' 🤬🤬🤬bitch WHAT??? This man clearly didn't realise what kind of a hot headed banshee I really am. I actually had an argument in my head in the one step I took 'do it' 'don't do it' 'do it' 'don't... do it!' So I did it anyway. I stopped so fast I think I burnt the material on the bottom of my wedges. And I shouted 'are you talking to me? Are you actually talking to me??' And he says, AGAIN 'ye girl, why don't you smile you've got a nice face' so that's it then. Level 10 you just poked the dragon. So I shout as I'm walking closer and by now the woman who was crossing my path had stopped to witness. I start shouting 'so you! A dirty old man, sees me, a young 'attractive' woman walking down a street, minding MY own business and you find it not only acceptable to say but to SHOUT smile girl at me? What gives you the fucking right to tell me what to do with MY face' and he goes 'I was just saying' I said 'I don't give a shit you sexist bastard, did you say it to the 2 men in front of me? The men stood across in the pub facing you? Have you EVER said it to a man?!' I paused, he stood shook his head and said 'well, no' I said 'so what the fuck gives you the right to invite yourself into MY life and tell me what to do with MY face because it doesn't seem attractive enough to you, some drunk pervy 60 year old? Tell me I've got all day' and he goes 'Alright, sorry' and shuffled back inside the pub, he looked genuinely devastated and I have never been so proud of myself for holding my own! I don't know what made me this way, it could have been the dirty men who beeped at me out of their wagon when I was 12 because I had boobs, or maybe it's because I'm constantly being patronised for being a dainty female who takes care of her looks, OR it could be the men who think they can touch and pester me even when I say NO!. Honestly there are so many factors in this, but I know women will understand, especially the ones who have bloomed early. And I will be damned if I am one of the women to sit on the sidelines whilst someone shouts things at me and I say nothing, run home and complain about if knowing full well I did absolutely fuck all to make them think about their actions and if I embarrass them in the process then bloody splendid! Because I for one, will not be the mother to a son who thinks that THIS is acceptable behaviour.

We all need to stand up ladies, whether we get called moaners, or annoying. For all of the women who have been touched when you haven't given consent, for all of the women who are told they cant do things and all of the women living and suffering through fucking shitty sex lives because their fellas can cum at the drop of a hat giving absolutely no consideration for HER needs. For every woman who has ever needed to click her own mouse after already completing the document. Stand up for ourselves, and stand up for each other, please!

I'm a woman, I'm a strong, independent, smart, brave woman, and I can do anything, and so can you!

This is my rant for today, I think I need to quit whilst I'm ahead but I just needed to get that off my chest, my natural, busty, outspoken chest!

Until next time.

Don't be a stranger and stay safe.

Much Love

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