Welcome... save me!
I know that might sound dramatic but I'm serious. I thought the 4 month sleep regression was bad, but here I am writing to you lovely people about just how WRONG I was.
So as you can probably gather, my son is going through the 8 month sleep regression. I even wrote a sleep regression list so YOU knew when to expect them, but who forgot them you say- nobhead over here! It caught me completely off guard to the point when my son kept waking up in the night and flat out refusing to sleep in the day I thought it was his teeth. And don't get me wrong, it might be, but it's 100% sleep regression too. Trust me I have the suitcases under my eyes and attention span of a walnut to prove it. So in pure Mouthy Mum fashion I thought I would come on here and tell you lovely people so that should (or rather when) this happens to you you are equipt with the knowledge that it's probably nothing to worry about babywise, and I'm also telling you for entertainment and solidarity purposes, after we all know misery loves company!
How old is my son now? 38 weeks and 3 days to be precise.
When did it start? THIS time, this regression started around 9 days ago. So he was 37 weeks and a day old.
How did it start? From my memory this didn't start strictly from him waking in the night like the others. This start by him refusing to stay lying down. Soon as I'd lie him down and tuck him in (yes I sometimes use a blanket shock horror) he would be up and out, undoing my handy work, standing up in his cot very proud with himself.
Do's and don'ts see below...
Do's... put an arm over and soothe them quietly or 'hush' them back to sleep. Do turn out any nightlight. Do keep anything with blue light switched off. Do give them a comforter/pacifier. Do change them if need be. Do tuck them back in. Do get back in your bed and let them cry it out in theirs. Or may sound problematic but I do feed my son a bottle if he fully refuses to settle as I believe sleep regressions and growth spurts come with dramatic eating increase/decrease, he also is still teething and reduces solids whilst in teething pain too.
Don't'... let him sleep in your bed. Trust me on this PLEASE if you listen to one thing, listen to that. Don't give snacks. Don't ignore a nappy that needs changing (we moved onto 4+ nappies so he didn't need changing once asleep as it would wake him up changing him), I don't know about you but I couldn't sleep in a dirty bed so I don't expect my son to sleep in a dirty nappy, that can lead to all kinds of infection. It seems like common sense, but when you are sleep deprived being told a million and one different things I can understand NOT understanding anything. Don't engage in conversation with them. Don't pick up to rock to sleep, we found out the hard way they will scream bloody murder when you put them back down.
I'd love to say I'm writing about it because we have came out the other side, but we haven't yet. Last night I spent the night alternating cradling my son and shouting at him to JUST LIE DOWN AND STOP CLAWING MY TIT! He was doing it continuously. He then would act comfy and snug and I'd see this tiny thing coming at me at the speed of a pissed snail and it was him trying to put his fingers into my eye socket, I think he thinks eye balls are a removable appendage. FUCK OFF! to give you a little idea of how it is in this house, one night he will sleep right through absolutely exhausted from keeping me up the night before, and the next (like last night, last night was the worst) we put him to bed at 8.30 after his bath. He then continued to stand or sit up, what ever meant he was refusing to lay down for THREE hours. Then we went to bed and couldn't relax for an hour because he screamed the entire hour making himself sick with saliva build up. He eventually fell asleep around 12.30-1. I then fell asleep once the anxiety died down half an hour later. He THEN woke up at 3.30 and kept me up until just gone 5.30 being an absolute nightmare, up and down, left and right, slapping, punching, pinching, clawing, biting, kicking, you name it he did it last night, if you can achieve it with an appendage my son let me have it. I ended up kicking his dad out of the bedroom at roughly 5.30 too because if you aren't going to help get my child to sleep DON'T👏 PIPE 👏 UP👏. Now I know I'm not alone here, I KNOW I'm not. He's sleep deprived but I'm the one baring the brunt. So when he starts having a go at my almost 9 month old for being a little shit, I agree on the inside but I am aso a mother and this is MY baby. This is the very distinct difference in mums and dads. If I were to shout at my son he'd be ok with that, but if HE shouts at my baby, no no. That turns the bitch dial RIGHT UP! Like I said I had the screaming, the crying AND the physical tantrum shit, only I was trying to find solutions so only I can comment or moan end of story. And who ended up making the bottle we were trying so hard to avoid (hv advice. They can get fucked from now on) ME! I rest my fucking case. Today was meant to be my lie in, but did I get one, did I shite! Fella went down at 5.40 after being called app the horrible bastards going and being told not to even look at my baby so he did. Off he scurried. But he was awake then, so imagine my blind fury when my baby wakes me up just before 9 again trying to remove my eyeball with his bare hands, and his ass hat dad stayed downstairs. I eventually go down with the baby, dizzy with physical and mental exhaustion (there is more to why I feel this exhausted but that's a post for another time) and what's his dad doing? He's stood, in the kitchen, re arranging the FUCKING cupboard! Like I am completely sleep deprived for the 3rd day running, the access position of the red sauce can wait love!
My dad and brother came round and dad measured up for a new kitchen, for any COVID police he is out landlord so he can be in my house all he damn wants. Saw to a few other household things and left. Finally sleep. And BOY did we need it. The baby slept from 12-4 and I joined at 1.30 so a decent sleep. Another word of advice, I know sleeping when they do is extremely difficult when things need doing, but when you get to THAT level of exhausted please sleep. Nap together, even an hour will do the world of good. If the dishes are that bad fuck it put a contingency plan into place, paper plates and plastic cutlery were made for sleep deprived parents on the brink I really am starring to believe that. Sleep regression is NO joke. This is that part in a film or program you can really relate to the frazzled parent walking around talking to themselves in a daze, while you watch and think you should not be operating a car but then WHO ELSE WOULD TAKE THE KIDS TO SCHOOL. Seriously the world is flawed. Parents need understanding. I applaud any and every parent, if you are getting up after nights like that, if you're getting shit done! You are a fucking superhero and don't you ever feel guilty for taking a break or rewarding yourself because YOU deserve it. Sleep regression isn't for the faint hearted. We're all in this together... apart from last night. Last night I felt I had to fight the devil alone. But we live to tell the tale!
Until next time girls and guys...
Dpn't be a stranger and stay safe.
💙 Much Love 💖